Cafe Envie ~ Upriver

July 12th, 2018: Changed title of Homepage post from “What is this?” to “Where am I?” I think it goes better leading in to the disco ball metaphor.

On my 2nd or 3rd steep of tea, Café Girl,* L., asked me what I was working on and I told her about my blog, half-jokingly. To me “I’m working on my blog” sounds pretentious AF no matter how you say it, so I might as well say it pretentiously. I also fear that I come across as pretentious whenever I talk about what I do ~ can’t say I do it for a living yet, but here we are: putting one foot in front of the other. What do I do? I’m a Yoga Therapist/Life-Coach.



7.12 UpperEnvvie Tea
“Life Coach?”… Really?… ::sips tea::

L and I talked about whether Life-Coach still sounds as fake and pretentious as it did the last time I heard it discussed… in a psychology class… 10 years ago… it does. I said “it sounds like I’m full of shit, right?” L said “it sounds like something rich people pay a lot of money for.” To which I replied “hey, I’m not opposed to that.” L agreed.

When I say I’m a Yoga Therapist, people (L included) don’t usually know what I mean, but no preconceived notion is definitely better than a negative one. People who are immediately attracted to my “job title” make the most compatible clients. People who are immediately repulsed by the words “yoga” &/or “therapy” could probably benefit the most from working with me, but I’ve never talked someone from that end of the spectrum into giving it a try. Hopefully I at least plant the idea-seeds that yoga is therapeutic, that people in America who look like me practice yoga and therapy; that yoga and therapy may look different than what most people expect…

Oh yeah, the review:

If you didn’t know, there are two locations of Envie Espresso Bar and Café in the French Quarter. I like the one on UPPER Decatur (308 @Conti versus 1241 @Barracks) because it’s closer to bike to and generally smells a lot better. I was there from roughly 9-11 pm on a Thursday. Totally clean, no line/crowd, as you’d expect. Absolutely Zero cracktivity in all this time, which could be attributed to the New Moon (opposite of full, so no crazys?), how BRIGHT the lights were on, or just really good luck. L’s partner came in and cuddled a bit at an empty table when she wasn’t busy, now he’s helping her with the trash ~ ALL of which I think only makes this experience cuter. Never did his presence interfere with her work & like I said, the place was spotless (Don’t come for her!).

It’s about time for me to leave to catch the last streetcar, but now I want to stay! At first it was difficult to think of what to write about, but once I started editing my first post ever, I was thoroughly engaged, despite how baggy my eyelids feel.

7.12 UpperEnvie Meh
It’s bright, okay! This is why you keep sunglasses on you at all times, people.

Okay, problem solved: the song “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” is playing, and I want to pack up because I know it won’t get better than this ^_^ The only downside is now I’m thinking of Tingyo.. at least I have a cute text to send him. Thank you, The Shirelles ❤



*Usually I detest calling women “girls,” but I call myself and others Café Girl sometimes because I think it’s cute 🙂 What do you think? Comment below, if you wish.

The Journey Begins


The best place to start is where you are now.

7.11 cafe thoughtful
Where to begin…?

Right now I’m in a café that years ago someone told me was a good place to “meet women.” Yes, like as in “pick up girls.” So far, no good. I’ve clocked a few folks who my Gaydar reads as possibly~family (“family” is Queerspeak for “Also Queer”), but it’s my 2nd time here this year and the aggregate score for the Count the PoC Game* has been under 5… including myself and staff members.

Heheh… “staff members….”

7.11 cafe lip
Pretty sure he’s gay, but… hola!

Not that I won’t date a whyte-passing person, I’m just limiting their opportunities to make up for my dating history, which was sorely lacking in diversity for many years. More on that later. I’m not even out here fishing for women *or* men today. I’m here to put some ink on the ole web~page.

The café is called HiVolt, located in the Garden District, a pleasant stroll away from where Magazine, Camp and a street called Happiness (Felicity) make a lovely pocket-park.


If you’re biking here, BEWARE THE COBBLESTONES ON FELICITY STREET! The music has alternated between “damn I gotta invest in some noise-canceling headphones” and “ooh, chill grungey 90s alt-rock radio, this is nice!” Everything Else about HiVolt is great: food & drink options are Omnivore and Vegan-friendly. Art, decor, lighting, self-serve water, environmental consciousness, kind staff, clean restrooms… it’s all legit. I’ll be back.

Thanks for joining me!

This image came with the template… Enjoy!

*Count the PoC (People of Color) Game is the game you play when there aren’t enough Blaq people to win the Count the Blaq People Game**

**Start with yourself, that’s 0-1 point and almost always a losing score. A score of 2-5 is only problematic in large groups. More than 5 is where I feel like I can relax. In a crowd, I look for “at least 5%.” I think I got this number from the racial ratios of the educational institutions I attended growing up.

How do you play “Count the PoC?” Have you n/ever heard of this game? If you like, leave a comment below. Namaste, y’all

7.11 cafe updo

The best place to start is where you are now. ~ Ashley Jemini